Friday, October 07, 2005

Well, I've created a blog that I don't intend to tell anyone I know about. I need a place to share what I'm thinking without having to tell people things that I'm uncomfortable with them knowing about me. I am not going to put any personal information on here because I don't want anyone I know finding out about it and reading it. No, my name isn't Shannon, but I think it's a good alias. I'm 21, I'm a Senior in college but not planning to graduate this school year, I have a pretty serious boyfriend, and there are many things about me that I don't tell anyone.
To start with, I'm not a Christian. I go to a conservative Christian college because I grew up in a conservative Christian family. I don't really believe in God and I almost never go to church. This is one of my biggest secrets. My family probably wouldn't be angry if I told them, but they'd be really disappointed and they wouldn't understand. Some of my friends know how I feel, but only the ones who are also not Christian or are unsure where they stand religiously. The rest of them think that I at least believe in God, although I think many of them know that I don't always go to church. My non-belief is my non-Christianity. I wish I didn't have to hide this, but I find it makes things much easier. People are happier in their obliviousness.
So here I am, starting this so that I can tell the world, but not the people I really care about how I really feel about everything. I feel really weird having this face that I show to everyone and never feeling like I can tell them the truth about who I really am.

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