Wow, that was a lot of comments I got on that last post. I guess all I need to do is leave a few comments of my own on blogs that have a lot of readers. Anyway, thanks for the comments. I enjoyed reading them. I'd address them in the comment section, but I think it's more likely that it'll be read here. David, yes it sounds like we do have a lot of similar experiences. I actually am going to email you. Michael K, yes it was a very honest post. I'm glad that I have this blog. It's kind of like my diary. I've never been able to consistantly keep up a journal or diary for all kinds of reasons, so that's kind of why I have this blog. Writing about it here is my own therapy. It's refreshing for me to be able to write honestly. Like I said in my last post, I'm always afraid of doing that here. Anonymous, thanks especially for the quote from Steven Hawking. He's someone I really admire and that statement actually really represents what I believe. I don't believe that there could be an all powerful being because that would go against the laws of the universe. I think that anything out there has to conform to those laws, which in my mind makes that being not a "God" in the way that most people think of the nature of God. To another anonymous poster, it is a real college, if that's what you mean. Sure plenty of parents send their kids here because there are more rules that most colleges, but it is still a very academic institution. Many people go on to graduate schools from here. To another anonymous poster, I will check out that yahoo group. I'm not quite sure that my background qualifies as "fundamentalist." My parents are pretty conservative in their religious beliefs but they don't really fit in with people who are maniacal about their beliefs. They hardly ever even vote Republican so how fundy could they be? Anyway, I think I would still fit in pretty well in the group. I did grow up going to churches and places where sex before marriage and drinking alcohol were considered sins. Chris Williams, I think you're probably right. This issue has been weighing on my mind more and more and I don't think I can take it too much longer. It's not like I lie about stuff; I just avoid the subject. If someone directly asks I tell them the truth, but it's hard for me. But I do think that the sooner I actually start telling the truth and stop being afraid of it, the better I will feel. Now I just have to work up the courage to do so. Lisa, yes, people wanting to convert me is an issue that I do face. But as one other commenter said, the people who really matter won't act that way. I know that I have true friends who care about me as a friend, not as someone to be fixed. I know that all of my friends already know that I don't go to church. As for changing colleges, I'm going to graduate in May, so that's not really one of my options. If I were miserable I would have transfered a long time ago. But I'm really not miserable. I'm happy that I came here and I think I've gained things from being here. I don't regret making the decision to come here. I think at this point I am honest with myself. I've been honest about myself to several of my friends. None of them has tried to convert or change me, but that may just be because I chose carefully who I would tell and didn't tell the people who might react that way.
Anyway, thanks again for the comments. I didn't address them all, but I did appreciate them all. I have to go now. I have a slight cold and need to get some sleep. I'm planning on posting here again soon. I'll probably do it a lot more often if people keep reading and commenting. Good night.