Monday, October 09, 2006

I used to date a wonderful guy. I broke up with him in May because of the long distance. I sometimes wonder whether I'll ever find someone as great as him to date again. Other times I wonder if I really was in love with him or if he was just the first person I was able to connect with on an intellectual, philosophical level and that made me feel very strongly about the relationship and think I was in love with him. Growing up, I never knew anyone who liked to read as much as I did. I went to Christian schools for most of my life but always felt out of place. I eventually realized that I don't believe in God and I never did. I'm still in a Christian college. Not only are there very few non-Christians, there are very few people who I think are rational about science when it comes to religious issues. It often makes me uncomfortable. I found in him all of the things that I had been looking for even though at the time I didn't realize what it was that was. I miss him a lot and I think that I am hurting myself because I'm not letting myself get over him. There are many interesting men around. I keep comparing all of them to him and I know that's wrong and I'll never get anywhere by doing this. He wasn't a Christian and I appreciated that about him, but maybe there is a Christian out there that I could date. I think I might be limiting myself by excluding them from my possibilities. I think I would just want to make sure that they were rational about their faith.

Anyway, there is a very nice seminary student coming over very soon to jump my car because my battery died. My roommate keeps joking that he's coming over to jump me. He is someone that I could be very interested in. I'm definately interested in getting to know him better.


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