Wednesday, March 28, 2007


Today has been a relief for me - not because it's been easy or relaxing (just the opposite in fact), but because I got my period. I was a little bit afraid that I was pregnant. I'm actually really upset with myself over this. I plan to never let myself be in that situation again. In the past I have had completely unprotected sex (though not in over 3 years) but only either the day before or day after my period. That was stupid enough and I told myself that I wouldn't ever do that again. So this time I've been more careful. I've been using a condom every time, but then about two weeks ago one of them had to go and break on me at the absolute worst time of the month. The next morning I took Plan B. If anyone ever has to do that, then don't go on a 14 hour car ride afterwards. I never get car sick, but I think sitting in the back seat of the car made the nausea worse. I really thought that I was going to throw up there for a while.

Anyway, back to the point. I'm really glad I was able to get that, but it's only about 80 or 85 percent effective. Also, I think there is a psychological component. Whenever a condom is used I can see that it worked and that stuff didn't get through. This time I saw that it was broken but there's really no way to know for a while whether or not the Plan B worked. At this point I'm a little mad at myself for only relying on one method. While I have stuck to my resolution to always use protection, I don't think I have been quite responsible enough. I don't want to have to use emergency contraception again. It was unpleasant and I worry about the effectiveness of it. Not to mention how freaked out I was by the broken condom. By the way, that is the LAST time I will ever use the ultra thin kind. Lover boy can complain all he wants about the thicker ones - he's just going to have to deal with them. Or not if he so chooses. He doesn't have to have sex with me if he doesn't want to.

For now I'm angry at my university health insurance for not covering birth control. Unfortunately, there's no way for me to complain about it without the possibility of getting suspended or possibly expelled for having sex. I'm going to have to go to Planned Parenthood to get some type of birth control. I intend to do that in the next week or so. I've kind of been putting it off. It's not all that close and my schedule's crazy. I can work it in but I've been dragging my feet on it a little. New experiences always make me nervous. I was kind of nervous about getting the Plan B too, but that was urgent so I did it.

In the future, maybe I'll actually start posting regularly though possibly not for a month or so. I have to go through graduation and other stuff that is keeping me busy. After that I may be unemployed for a while, so then it'll be likely that I'll write more.